I can’t wait to fall asleep with you on the couch, only making it halfway through a movie because we drank too much wine. I can’t wait to stumble into bed together, then wake up the next morning and cook breakfast. I’d make pancakes for us and we’d drink coffee while we pick out articles in the New York Times that we find fascinating. You’ll make fun of me for doing the crossword in pen, only to search the house for whiteout 10 minutes in. Maybe we’ll make a grocery list, or have to head to work. Maybe we’ll play goofy music while we dance and clean the house. Maybe we haven’t met yet, but damn I can’t wait.
1 month out of college and I’m being considered for a salaried managerial position at my hotel… what whaaaat ;)
I wanted nothing more than for you to tell me that you’re really really happy. I didn’t care if you lied, I just didn’t want to have hope if you told me you weren’t. There goes that.
As of late I’ve been feeling really… off balance? I think that’s the best way to put it. I was sick last week with a horrible cold, so I’m still super congested and stuffed up. I think it sort of transferred though, mentally and emotionally. My thoughts have been all over the place and I’ve been lacking motivation and optimism that usually comes really naturally to me. I think the sick thing is partially to blame, but it’s also the fact that I’ve graduated and finished my internship. I feel as if I’m starting this new year blind with no direction in the sense of my career, my love life, my family life, etc. I also had a fight with my mom this morning so that was a shitty way to start off the year (note to you all: just because in your champagne induced buzz you think it’s a good idea to send a picture of yourself with a cat on your lap and the caption being “me… getting some pussy on new years eve” to a friend, it’s probably not. Mainly because she will find it to be as hilarious as you thought it was and post it on facebook and tag you in it causing your mother to see)
Anyway, all of THAT ^^^ could not have been eloquently stated had it not been for the magical human being that is Marvin. He’s a coworker of mine who is in his mid-forties I’d say and is just the most incredible person. Mind you, he listened to me ramble for five minutes until I was actually making sense, and then simply asked if I wanted a response. I realized that I didn’t necessarily need one, because being able to clearly elaborate on why I was “feeling shitty Marvin” was enough. He did however respond by telling me "Today is not New Year’s Day, it’s simply January first. It’s a day, and tomorrow is January second. Forget about the cliched American bullshit." He also told me that it’s completely normal for me to freak out post graduation, but that I should also be giving myself more credit because graduating college at 20 years old is an amazing thing. Plus, I have a job… a great one. Just because it’s not something big and fancy and managerial means nothing.
"Have patience" he said.
So I will.
Dear all of you fuckers who convinced me to watch American Horror Story… I hate you. I’m in the middle of season two and I’m all jumpy and emotional and weirded out and can’t function normally at the moment -.- I’m a chicken shit! Why did I think watching this would be okay?!
Since I’m stuck in bed due to this nasty ass cold, I figured I’d take the time to reflect on my year… SO here we go.
It was a pretty great year filled with concerts and celebrities. Remember when P!nk flew right over me during her show? Yeah me too. Also getting to see Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeroes less than a foot away from me was pretty damn amazing. Let’s not forget that Laura Prepon tweeted me and I saw Lionel Richie at an event for my job. OH and Macklemore stood on top of me at his concert. Watch out page 6, here I come.
There were some trips too! I had the chance to see Key West on bike with some friends, I also went to the Bahamas which was amazing. Sprinkle in a couple trips to Orlando also and you can almost say I traveled! ;)
It wasn’t a total washout year in terms of romance either. A night spent cuddling watching movies, a handful of random dates with random people, another handful of random kisses, yettttt I’m still forever alone. Life goes on.
As far as work goes, I got promoted bitchessss! I also scored my dream internship which was the most incredible life changing experience. Oh yeah, I also graduated from college. Yay for being accomplished!
The things I listed above are really just the factual things though. ALL of those things led to some really enlightening moments for me. This year was huge in terms of being honest with myself and those that I care about. I’d also like to think that I’m now a more humble and compassionate individual due to some really incredible people that I was lucky enough to meet throughout the year. I feel like each day that passes helps me grow more and more and I can’t wait to see what 2014 has in store for me.
PS- I can’t forget to mention YOU GUYS. To many, 1,000 followers doesn’t seem like much… but to me, holy shit! Don’t know what I did to deserve you all, especially all of you who have actually become good friends to me. So thank you. I love you all.
Nothing screams relief like finishing this semester with straight A’s. I worked full time, took four classes, interned with my dream job, and assisted a professor all semester long. I feel like superwoman!
Guys… I have ONE little paper to write. That’s the last thing I have to do before graduating college and I can’t fucking bring myself to do it. It’s such an easy paper too! Rather than actually sit my ass down and get it done tonight, I’m scrolling through tumblr and sipping on my coffee. No discipline I’m telling you. Don’t think that this is going to change as you get closer to finishing college. It doesn’t.
I hate when people are all “I just want someone to cuddle with. I just want someone to hold hands with”
Shit, I’m REALLY picky with who I choose to do those things with. Is it just me? Like… I will not just cuddle with anyone, or hold hands with just anyone, I don’t care how attractive you are. I have to feel a kind of comfort in order to do that. I find cuddling and holding hands so damn intimate. Am I weird? Like right now off the top of my head, I can only think of like two or three people who I really would want to cuddle up in bed with.
I find it so funny when my friends are stressing about boys and getting drunk… Meanwhile I’m all “whoa I need another two cups of coffee because I’ve gotten a total of 9 hours of sleep in 2 days and I’m working 10+ hours every day and won’t have a day off for another week and I have two huge papers due Monday. OK”
Every part of me is so fucking exhausted. My brain hurts from over thinking things, my body aches from working so much. I just want someone to fly me over to somewhere OTHER than here so i can live a different life for just a bit and take a break. I’m not saying i’m not happy with my life, because I AM. I’m super fucking lucky, how could I not be happy with it? i just need a break. now.
Starbucks? Check. Bubble bath? Check. My favorite red wine? Check.
Currently trying to cure a super shitty day, and I think I’m WELL on my way.
How are you all this evening?
I know it isn’t much compared to many bloggers on tumblr, but somehow I have 800 followers on this silly little blog of mine now.
I just wanted to say thank you and that you’re all SO fucking wonderful. I’ve made a ton of friends on here from all over the world- if we haven’t spoken I really wish you would say hello! I don’t bite ;) usually.
You’re amazing enough to put up with my ridiculous amount of celebrity obsessed posts, random pictures of my face and body, pretty photos, and rants about my stressful crazy life. I fucking adore you.
I have some advice for you all.
If you miss someone and you’re really depressed about it, just fucking talk to them. Odds are you miss the idea of something or someone who doesn’t even exist anymore. They probably aren’t as magnificent as you remember them being.
It’s one of those days. You know the days- when I overthink myself to death about where I’m going with my career, about how lonely I am, about how sleepy and overworked I am, about how badly I want to love. What the heck am I supposed to do to make myself feel better? Right now the solution seems to be endless amounts of kitkats, dancing with the stars, and a big sweater. If you have a better idea, tell me please.